In his twenty years on the radio, the mononymous Lionel (''one name, like God,'' as he is fond of saying) has forged his reputation as an irreverent, ribald, take-no-prisoners analyst of culture, politics, and the world at large. Now America's favorite contrarian takes to the page with this hilarious user's guide to our country and culture.

In Everyone's Crazy Except You and Me ... And I'm Not So Sure About You , Lionel offers a collection of hilarious and insightful observations on life, liberty, and the pursuit of alien life forms. From the sublime (Why do so many of us believe in God?) to the ridiculous (Why did he run over his sister's hair with the vacuum cleaner?), Lionel takes his readers on a riotous ride through his world, and ours. A former prosecutor, Lionel examines our greatest national oxymoron--criminal justice. He hates hate crimes, and argues against drug criminalization and the Son of Sam laws. He's also an indefatigable defender of the First Amendment who nevertheless believes that men shouldn't drink mojitos or wear socks with sandals. And lest you think he just picks on the Right, rest assured that Lionel has plenty to say about Lefties, Centrists, and even barristas.

No subject is off limits here. No group is immune--not conservatives, not women, and especially not American Homo sapiens.

Consider these imponderables:

• Why today's acrobatic professional wrestler is inferior to the beer-bellied hulk of the sixties
• Why Hazmat suits are worn more than once, but not wedding gowns
• Why women can't tell jokes
• Why you should never drink anything you can't spell.