Plane Insanity A Flight Attendants Tales Of Sex Rage And Queasiness At 30000 Feet Elliott Hester by Elliott Hester 9781429905411, 1429905417 instant download after payment.

You're belted into a middle seat with burly businessmen on either side. It's 92 degrees in the cabin and someone forgot to use deodorant. A baby screams. A kid kicks the back of your seat. After two hours you haven't even left the taxiway. Welcome to modern airline travel! In Plane Insanity , Elliott Hester delivers stories that could only come from someone who "rides tin" for a living-a flight attendant. You'll hear about:
the passenger from hell
a smuggled python
prostitutes working the lavatories
a riot in coach-class
a heist
the anatomy of a carryon bag
a malodorous couple
the Mile-High Club
and more!
Fasten your seatbelts. After Plane Insanity* , you'll never think of air travel the same way again.

It's hard to believe that the stories in Plane Insanity , the hilarious book by Elliott Hester, are true. But they are. Before you read even a single page, you know you're in for a wild ride just from the subtitle: A Flight Attendant's Tales of Sex, Rage, and Queasiness at 30,000 Feet. Hester has encountered just about everything in his 15 years of flying the skies or "riding tin," and he recounts these laugh-out-loud encounters with plenty of attitude and self-deprecating humor. Not to spoil the fun, but a few juicy tidbits include Hester as the hapless victim of a child's projectile vomit, chasing a sparrow around the cabin, mistakenly putting a woman on the wrong flight, and recalling the unfathomable account of an inebriated man defecating atop a liquor cart, to the horror of passengers and crew. Just when you think the stories can't get anymore outlandish he outdoes himself with the titillating antics of amorous couples who vie for membership in the infamous Mile High Club. And did our Mr. Hester himself ever become a member of this elite club? You'll have to read the book to find that out. Believe me, you'll be glad you did--this is the one of the year's funniest reads. --Jill Fergus

In his debut book of hilarious essays, syndicated columnist Hester expertly recounts "lowlights" from his 16-year career as a flight attendant for major U.S. airlines. Like an angrier, more street-wise Dave Barry, Hester zeroes in on bad trips, in-flight fighting, intolerable co-workers and airline procedures, broken airplanes, bad layovers and sex on airplanes (aka the "Mile High Club"). Addicted to "travel by whim," Hester isn't complaining "The ability to fly for next to nothing is the reason I took this job." He's just sharing: "I once saw a drunken couple puke on each other until they looked as if they'd emerged from a pool of oatmeal. I watched a smug-faced man receiving high altitude fellatio from a woman he'd just met on the flight," as well as "full-blown airplane brawls, passenger stampedes, a flight attendant in the midst of a nervous breakdown, passengers in various stages of undress, and stressed-out flyers attempting to open the emergency exit six miles above the Atlantic." These and other stories (an onboard robbery in which $500,000 was stolen on a 727) will be a revelation to anyone who has flown; Hester's careful, well-paced descriptions show that what happens behind the scenes is worse than one could imagine and that modern attendants take this craziness for granted. Hester also provides a wide assortment of various other true-life airline shenanigans taken from newspapers and wire service reports, which adds to his book's lurid charm. 7 b&w illus.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

Flyer beware: this book doesn't have many good things to say about the thrilling adventure that is air travel. The author, who switched from baggage handling to inflight service when it dawned on him that flight attendants didn't have to work outside in subzero weather, has pretty much seen 'em all: unruly passengers, sick passengers, amorous passengers, drunk passengers, nasty passengers, even flight attendants you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. Hester, who also writes a syndicated column ("Out of the Blue") and articles for various magazines, is a skillful raconteur, and no matter how bizarre or maddening the story, he tells it with grace and abundant good nature. Flight attendants, if this book is any indication, work in an environment that could make a war zone seem sedate, and we emerge from this comic horror show with a new respect and admiration for them. Fans of humorist Dave Barry or travel writer Bill Bryson should not miss this one. David Pitt
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

"...chronicles the circus of modern air travel...with an entertaining edge..." --Andrew Essex, Articles Editor, Details

"In this day of air rage, nothing could be a more timely tonic than Elliott Hester's captivating observations..." --Thomas Swick, Travel Editor, Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel

"...should be required reading for every businessman and woman in coach." --Julie Cooper, San Antonio Express-News

"What a great book! Elliott Hester's insider view of air travel is by turns hilarious, insightful and even touching." --Larry Bleiberg, Travel Editor, Dallas Morning News

"Hester's witty tales and sensuous, cautionary parables, offer an insider's view to travel, sex, and social etiquette...Indispensable." --Nick Charles, Staff Writer, People

"With humor and poignant humanity, Hester confirms what you always suspected:...the flight attendants are thinking exactly what you are." --Jane Wooldridge, Travel Editor, Miami Herald

"Hester gives us a window-seat view of what life in the air is 'really' like." --Scott Rosenberg, Managing Editor, Salon.com

"Everyone who's ever flown will recognize at least one character, one incident, one exasperating moment." --Marjorie Robins, Travel Editor, New York Newsday

"By turns funny, outrageous, and revealing." --Keith Bellows, Editor-in-Chief, National Geographic Traveler

Elliott Hester is a flight attendant, magazine writer, and former Salon.com travel columnist. He writes "Out of the Blue"--a syndicated travel column carried by the San Francisco Chronicle, Dallas Morning News, Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, New York Newsday and other daily newspapers. He lives in Miami Beach, FL.