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I can’t.

I’ve been friends with Cooper Rice from the moment we met. He was just as famous a decade ago on our college campus as he is now being the star quarterback for the Chicago Grizzlies.

But he’s not only talented on the field, he’s also the gorgeous football star women fawn over, posing in underwear and razor ads.

Here’s a secret those women don’t know—Cooper Rice isn’t a playboy. He’s the kind of man who wants to settle down with a family. He’s content ordering pizza and massaging my feet after my long shift as an emergency room doctor. He listens to me as if he’s as invested as I am in my patients. He has never let me down.

This is exactly why I refuse to live without Cooper in my life. Eight years ago, I made him promise me that we’d never cross that line. And just like I knew Cooper would, he’s held to that promise.

Despite our best efforts, our relationship is evolving, shifting into new territory and I find myself unsure if I want Cooper to keep that promise. Ignoring the obvious could tear us apart, but so could giving in, meaning there’s a chance I’ll lose Cooper forever no matter what decision I make.