You Are A Complete Disappointment A Triumphant Memoir Of Failed Expectations Edison Mike by Edison Mike 9781454919667, 1454919663 instant download after payment.

He was on his deathbed, quite literally, in an Arizona hospital room—the best money could buy, with all sorts of tubes exploding out of his arms, monitors beeping and buzzing, nurses bustling in and out to check the connections and interpret the blizzard of numbers that flashed on and off like Christmas lights on a Matterhorn of rack-mounted biotech, a pinball parlor’s worth of LED readouts that could just as easily have been designed to read EXTRA BALL or SPECIAL WHEN LIT. He was breathing erratically through a milky plastic oxygen mask that was growing thick with condensation.

He waved me over to the bed.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he began. “There is something I want to tell you.”

I sidled up close to hear what he had to say.

There was a soft sucking sound from inside the mask, and the low whistle and shhhhhhhhh of an air valve doing its thing. His eyes were clear, lucid blue.

“You,” he said, “are a complete disappointment.”

He sucked another lungful of oxygen out of the mask, and his eyes opened up like saucers. He was just getting started.

“You are a failure,” he leveled, gaining strength. “You think you are a hotshot in New York writing books, but you’re not. No one wants to read your shit. It’s obvious you don’t even like yourself,” he added, before turning to my younger brother, the Wall Street macher who was standing next to me, wearing a dirty T-shirt from a recent Who reunion concert, cargo shorts, and those trendy, Fruity Pebbles®–colored plastic clogs. “It’s been a pleasure to watch you grow up,” he said to him.